Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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