Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
