so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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