so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize