Whoa Z and x make the same sound
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
