she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize