Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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