Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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