did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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