y did u give ur computer a hand job?
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
