Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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