God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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