i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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