Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
Randomize
