Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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