Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
