There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
