Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize