If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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