wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Randomize
