you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize