i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
