In the future we'll all be gay
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
