remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
