Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
operation harelip BJ is a go
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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