you traded sex for a burrito?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
