That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Randomize
