But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
