im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
