I love black thongs
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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