I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
