On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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