dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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