Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Randomize
