maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
