I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
