we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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