he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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