i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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