I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
