I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
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