Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
I need to stop coming to work sober
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
