I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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