Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
