I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
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