ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
