Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
