i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize