Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Randomize
