I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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