Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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