Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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