votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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