I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
