i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
