I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
