Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i've created a new STD.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Randomize