Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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